Snap,crackle and POP!

Was just reading this article,

http://blogs.theage.com.au/noisepollution/archives/2007/09/_a_boffin_in_th.html

(Hopefully this plug will stop me from getting accused of stealing stuff from their site).
Some psychology boffin in Britain has recently released the formula for creating perfect pop music which goes like this,

Pitch + % of Positive Lyrics + Tonality + Beats Per Minute + Images And Memories Associated With The Music + Serotonin Level = The Feel Good Factor

I previously heard something similar to this about Rivers Cuomo who is the songwriter from weezer. Supposedly this guy has an “Encyclopedia of Pop” which is a three-ring binder which has details about pop and rock songs and how to write a perfect catchy song. Now this could be bullshit, but considering how many great sing along songs they have written (Buddy holly, el scorcho, say it ain’t so, hash pipe, island in the sun, keep fishin,dope nose) it could be true.
Anyway supposedly the top song fitting this formula was some UK shit that i’ve never heard of called ‘Wake Up Boo!’ WTF. The rest of the list has a number of Michael Jackson songs and a beatles song as expected. An unexpected choice was The Darkness hit ‘I believe in a thing called love).
I was just wondering what other people thought about this list and what they think is the ultimate pop song.
I’ve decided that this formula can also be used to determine which is the best pop music video. For me it’s really a hard decision between The Operators with ‘The pingpong song’ and the Alex Gaudino song ‘destination unknown’. While ‘destination unknown’ isn’t exactly a pop song per say i think it definitely fits into the formula as follows.

Pitch:10/10
I think this song is perfectly pitched to men out there and therefore this clip scores maximum points from me.

% positive lyrics: 5/10
To be honest i’ve never really payed attention to the actual lyrics as i’m always watching the video clip. Giggidy!

Tonality:10/10 Does sexy count as a tone ? Giggidy,Giggidy !

Beat per minute: 10/10
As this is a techno pop type song i’m sure its got a high BPM ratio. However my definition of BPM is Boobs Per Minute and therefore if you’re watching the video clip then the rating is 100. Actually maybe i should count how many women there are in the clip and multiply by 2. Giggidy, Giggidy,Giggidy !

Images And Memories Associated With The Music: ?
How can you rate this? As far as I’m concerned the video clip has given me enough memories to last a lifetime so therefore it gets an in-definitive score. Giggidy, Giggidy,Giggidy Giggidy!

Serotonin Level: 10/10
Well how can this song not make you happy

The final score = The feel good factor = 45
Converted to STD (Sexy Time Disorder) score = Giggidy, Giggidy,Giggidy!

Now compare this to the ping pong song

Pitch:10/10
It’s got like 16 yr old girls singing in it, so of course its high pitched.

% positive lyrics: 5/10
Well depends on how much you like ping-pong

Tonality:10/10
There’s lots of bright yellow and purple tones in the videoclip

Beats per minute:5/10
There’s plenty of bobbing beats and jumping in this clip. However they lose boobs per minute points as they’re only teenagers and are fairly flat chested.

Images And Memories Associated With The Music: 2/10
Unfortunately this song is only about ping pong and that’s about the only image i can associate with the music. However they do get an extra point for wearing cape’s and jumping around like dickheads.

Serotonin Level: 5/10
Again depends on how much you like ping-pong

The final score = The feel good factor = 37
Mind you in a few years a couple of these kids could be hot and then they would get an extra STD score

So the winner is ‘destination unknown’. Try it with some of your favourite song video’s and see what you think.

So till my next ranting, have fun.