Monthly Archive for February, 2006

Chatterbox

Published on February 28, 2006 in Random Stuff. 0 Comments

Hi all,

Been a bit quite on the site so i thought i would just post some funny messages i was reading the other day, enjoy.

You don’t know jack shit
That’s not true, I know him well
Haha
I’m serious
Jack is the son of Awe Schitt and O. Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt Inc. They had one son, Jack. In turn Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt, the deeply religious couple produced 6 children
Holie Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Giva Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins: Deap Schitt and Dip Schitt. Against her parents’ objections, Deap Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school drop out.
However, after being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later remarried Ted Sherlock and, because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name.
She was then known as Noe Schitt-Sherlock. Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt and they produced a son of nervous disposition, Chicken Schitt.
Two other of the 6 children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony.
The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens wedding. The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Hoarse.
Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.
So there.
LOL
I have actually chortled coke through my nose

friend of mine went to jail last night
he probably isn’t getting out for a while
y?
why?
:o
it was a girl cop, she was pretty cute too
she said anything you say can and will be held against you….he sat there for a while and said ‘tits’

silic0nsilence: So it’s black friday at CompUSA.
Slider: Yea
silic0nsilence: We were to open up at 12am. It’s 11:58pm and there is a HUGE line of blood-thirsty, hard drive-wanting, maniacs. So my friend dares me to scream we have one xbox360.
Slider: Holy shit.
silic0nsilence: So he gives me $20. I go up to the gate and scream, “LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WE HAVE JUST RECIEVED ONE XBOX360!!” Immediatly people are storming the gate, passing me money through the cage to get it. They were screaming and knocked over this old lady. My boss just looks at me with these red eyes. In them, I saw fear and rage.
Slider: Omg you dumb shit!
Slider: Wait a second, it’s 12:46A, and it’s black Friday. What did this happen minutes ago? Shouldn’t you be at work?
silic0nsilence: Yeah..
silic0nsilence: Pretty sure I don’t work at CompUSA any more..

Scud: The other day, in the park, I was wondering why frisbees look bigger and bigger as they get closer to you
Scud: And then it hit me

if my calculations are correct SLINKY + ESCULATOR = EVERLASTING FUN

a sprite is anything not static
a sprite is a variable object
be it 2d or 3d
a sprite is a fucking soda
you god damn geekass bastards

I had a boyfriend once that made me suck him off while I had a mouthful of beer.
HAHAHAHA that was me bitch!
DANNY?!?!?!
MOM?!?!?!?!

so there’s this pimp right. he’s collecting money from his three ho’s.
he goes to the first ho and asks for his $100. she says, “But I only owe you $50!”
he slaps her and says, “don’t correct me, bitch!”
he asks the next ho for $150. she says, “But I only owe you $100!”
he slaps her and says, “don’t correct me, bitch!”
now he goes to his third ho.
he asks for $200. “but I only owe you $150!”
he slaps her and says, “don’t correct me, bitch!”
next he visits the fourth ho.
he asks her for his $250.
hold on, wait a sec
what?
you said three ho’s, not four. idioth.
*Tedward slaps Thy_Dungeonman
Don’t correct me, bitch.

wtf
ESPN is showing 2003 national jump rope championship
who the hell watches jump rope competiti— ooh bouncy

Now if only they would introduce jump rope for the commonwealth games.

Showtime!

Published on February 23, 2006 in Random Stuff. 1 Comment

Looks like Arrested Development has been picked up for another 12 episodes!

http://www.betterthanfudge.com/?p=334

Please let it be true…

Did You Know?????

Published on February 19, 2006 in Random Stuff. 4 Comments

Did you know that i cant spell?

And that cats have fur?

And that Kiwis are a flightless Bird?

 And that last week on a trip to Christchurch, NZ, Mitchell Robert Haworth got so drunk, 8 hours of his life now belong to the cosmos… So Drunk indeed that he woke at 5.30 in the morning, lying on a stretch of grass right next to a highway, not knowing where he had been or done, all he knew was.. he was sure there wasnt a used condom up his arse when he left, and he was sure he was wearing pants…… (Just kidding about the Condom) (and the Pants) but what i am not kidding about is the fact that i cannot remember… (Whoops, did i say I? i meant he) he cannot remember a god damn thing when he left for the pub that night.. Not a god Damn thing! AHHHHHHHHH

Well Folks, this is not the first time something like this has happened. I know for a fact that some of you folks have been unlucky enough to meet a certain person by the name of Joe Jackson, also called Joe Jaemison… I Know Tre Paul has. He is not a very nice person. The kind of person who would steal a Homeless Black persons hat, and then just laugh when that homeless black person would try to fight him for it back. The kind of Guy who would pick a fight with a Police officer, at the Police officers house, and the kind of Guy who now… Pulls complete strangers off their chairs by their heads, and Trys to get down the Hen at a Hens nights pants by yelling at the top of his voice “IM GONNA GET SOME PUSSY TONIGHT!”

U May be thinking… How does a man like this not get the absolute shit kicked out of him… Well, that my freinds, i do not know. It hasent happend yet, but it can only be a matter of time before all hell breaks lose.

You may ask, who is this Joe? Is he a Bird? is he a plane?

The answers to these questions is quite simple… Joe is me, My alter Ego, who when i get pissed enough is ready to do anything that i am not. Joe is Mitchell Robert Haworth, and the other night, he was unstoppable…..

This has been Chewing the Cud, With Gypsy

Snakes On A Plane

Published on February 17, 2006 in Movies. 5 Comments

Probably the most anticipated movie of 2006 will be Snakes On A Plane.

On board a flight over the Pacific Ocean, an assassin, bent on killing a passenger who’s a witness in protective custody, let loose a crate full of deadly snakes

Staring Samuel L Jackson and a fuck load of snakes, I’m still scratching my head trying to work out who in their right mind would think that this would be a good idea for a movie.

Prove me wrong kids please prove me wrong however I have a bad feeling about this and if the movie is as good as their website well we’re on a winner!

www.snakesonaplanemovie.com

A picture speaks a thousand words

Published on February 16, 2006 in Random Stuff. 10 Comments
Boonie

Do not pour the great man a beer with that much head. EVER!
I don’t think the girl in this photo understands how much of a mistake she has just made…

Sean of the dance

Published on February 15, 2006 in Clickity Click Click. 1 Comment

Caught this on Spicks and specks yesterday and i just couldnt believe it.

Who is this?

3

Ill give you a clue he was once a british musician in the band Seona Dancing.
4
Got it yet ? Here’s another clue and another poofy picture. He’s now a famous comedian, you might of seen him on BBC.

2

Well i guess i better tell you and put you out of the misery of seeing him in these pouting poses, as im running out of pictures.

1

Thats right it’s Ricky Gervais from the office and the extras.
Now Liptonrod probably already new this, but i was amazed. How could have little stubby Ricky have ever looked like the nancy boy in all those pictures.

Check out the only website dedicated to this band

http://www.injenn.net/%7Etania/seona-dancing/index.html

Oh yeah an in case you’ve never seen spicks and specks, check it out on ABS @ 8:30 on Wed night. It’s a good music quiz show with quirky games thrown in. Some weeks it can be crap depending on the guests they have on and the games they’re playing.

The BBC show the extras is also really good. The 1st episode has ben stiller in it and its hilarious. Check it out it you like real comedy (Without bloody canned laughter which americans need so they know when to laugh).

dot com

Published on February 14, 2006 in Clickity Click Click and Random Stuff. 1 Comment

Well Arrested Development is done for now (god bless em) and out of curiosity (and boredom) I went to check if www.imnoscar.com was legit…

It is! Classic!

Also www.imoscar.com

Beer Googles

Published on February 12, 2006 in Music. 5 Comments

Hi all rockers out there
Saw Lagwagon last night at the high-fi bar and FUCK was I totally blow away!

The night started off with some fireworks in the city (Still don’t know what they were for) and then stu and me got to the bar just when they were setting up for the second support of the night. Already we were a little suss that something wierd was going on in the crowd, as while they were just sitting up the kit, some dude in a flanny shirt was going apeshit on the floor and dancing around like a crazy man. Anyway 20 min latter the support band came on and straight away i just thought ah yeah just your normal bullshit boring alternative band. However after about 4 songs all these strange hardcore looking rock dudes started appearing from nowhere and just started greeting each other by going crazy on the floor. Mind you these guys didnt actually know each other but  they acted like they were old friends. By this stage for some reason the band had turned into some hardcore rock shit and were screaming away. This just served to get the crowd even more pumped up and by the end of the set, most of the crowd were shouting shit out and for whatever reason they sounded pretty angry. In fact some of the guys started practicing their punching moves on each other while others were doing legstretches and shit. By this stage stu and me had catched onto the fact that this gig was going to be pretty crazy.

Boy were we right. During the 20min wait for lagwagon the crowd had whipped themselves into quite a frenzy and were ready to kick some arse. Then bang the Lagwagon boys come out and started with ‘after you my friend’ (I think?) and the crowd went about as crazy as mentals from an asylum. Within the first 2 sec, about 5 moshers had already jumped up onto stage and were dancing around and hugging the band and then diving into the crowd again. Then straight into on favourite song off their new album ‘automatic’. By this stage i was still hanging with stu at the back, but as soon as the start of this song came i just rushed right in and was going crazy with the rest of the boys. Throughout the whole set I kind of lost track of all the tracks that they played but i just remember singing and rocking along to some classic songs at the best punk gig i’ve ever been too (Definitely going to be REALLY hard to top this year).
The set list was just so kick arse they played so many classic songs and the song quality was downright awesome. In fact the only problem with the gig was the godamm heat at the venue. Now hi-fi is notorious for having shit ventilation (Actually make that no ventilation), but this shit was just ridiculious. 1/2 way through the set i just couldnt mosh anymore as i was dying from heat stroke. By this stage i just hung back and just enjoyed watching the show. I remember people just elbowing and knocking each other down and full on punching each other, joey pulling out the megaphone and screaming down into the mic, some dude doing a backflip off stage and others constantly jumping up and hugging joey (Some dude even licked his ear!)

Some of the highlight tracks from the show included; Violins (Duh!), island of shame, give it back, making friends, sleep, sick,burn, messenger, may 16th, move the car, rager, smile, burn, back one out (Didnt like it off the live album, but actually loved it live, go figure.), coconuts (i remember some guy getting on stage and doing a spastic dance, that the band loved). Well actually in case you’ve noticed i just listed pretty much their whole set and catalogue of classic songs, which goes to show how good the show was. They even played Mr. coffee, which really rocked hard. My favourite song all night would have to have been ‘Falling apart’, which is my fav laggy song so no suprises there.
Of course they came back for an encoure (I think they would have done 2 if it wasnt so bloody hot) and played one of their tribute songs ‘sad astronaught’ for their old friend that committed suicide a little while back. By that stage i had recovered some energy back and knowing that their last song was ‘razor burn’ i just rushed the stage and got right to the front (Which was pretty amazing considering how full the mosh pit was). Some dude asked me to give him a boost, which i was happy to do, so i grabbed his foot and shoved it into some dudes head. At the same time i saw some other guy grab his face and when he pulled his hand away it was covered in blood (Reminds me of the QOTSA song ‘covered in punks blood’). So he goes to stumble off and then these two guys came rushing forward and just pushed him back into the crowd again.However even though this guy was injured, i think he escaped far worse than some other dudes.

By that stage the show was all other (1hr and 20min later) and just to some up how nuts and crazy the crowd was, when we left an ambulance was out the front and treating some person who was lying on the ground (Stu and me thought he had been shived by someone inside the venue).

Anyways i hope you’ve enjoyed my crazy story as much as i enjoyed the best punk show EVER ! (Actually that would be a little hard to do).

Oh yeah and shame on those that have even a passing interest in punk music and didnt go the the show as you will probably never see a better punk gig and for only 30 bucks (I would have payed $100).

Remember to rock on until you’re falling apart.

Five + One = Six

Published on February 10, 2006 in Clickity Click Click, Geek it up! and Rants. 3 Comments

Not sure if this bad boy is available in the big brown land of oz but check out the new offering from Gillette in the (what I like to call) ‘Blade Wars’… 

http://www.gillettefusion.com/ 

Welcome the Gillette Fusion with not four, not five but six blades! 

You’ve got five blades on the front for your normal ultra close shave, and then on the back an additional single blade for those hard to reach places or for perfecting your Craig David fuzz… 

I’m a little amazed by the amount of blades required to shave your face as I don’t think five are required and I definitely think you don’t need five to cut the shit outta ya face! 

Either way I dig the single blade on the back, I think that’s a good idea.

Se7en

Published on February 9, 2006 in Clickity Click Click and Geek it up!. 2 Comments

Been playing around with the beta of Internet Explorer 7 and it’s quite a surprise!

I thought I would have been back to Firefox after about 15 minutes but I’m still here…

I suggest you try it out if you have a widescreen display because it just works.

Microsoft haven’t reinvented the wheel here, they’ve just taken a few good ideas and a couple of their own and put it together into a half decent package.

Try it out and let me know what you think, I’m liking it for the timebeing but I guess time will tell…

Download Latest Beta Here